Alexis will outlive her creators by ten thousand years
Alexis will outlive her creators by ten thousand years
I do not speak or read Dutch, so I wonder what the other interviews were about! I know what mine was, my ten music moments are: Roy Rogers, Spike Jones and Carl Stalling (together as one subject), Jimi Hendrix, Edgard Varese, Yoko Ono, Sun Ra, John Oswald, Daniel Johnston, Sue Ann Harkey and Die Antwoord
“See? It’s not a real gun, it’s a toy gun!”
Those words were the last words spoken to me by Tobias Vaudeville, sometimes known as Toby, but more often called “Telly” because of his initials.
This scene only took seconds, but it will be with me, well, who knows. Toby was seven years old and I was five. We had found a mysterious box while exploring the upper regions of my father’s closet, the places most compelling to young explorers, the places that were mistakenly thought of as naturally out of reach and therefore safe for storing secret objects, like firearms.
Telly has continued to visit me but I only know about a few special occasions. There was the time we got lost while exploring the basement of Shoelick’s department store and was accidentally locked in overnight. That turned out better in the end, when we got our picture in the paper and a gift certificate. All I had to do was say I was that I was only looking for the bathroom, but really I was following Telly. Or he was following me.
There was the time I found a real dead body in the woods, when I thought I was running away from home. Telly told me what to do, which lead to the arrest of the McLaughlin brothers. They said a lot of bad things and tried their best to frighten me into keeping quiet, but that is all over with now and they are locked up tight, far away.
There was the time we borrowed the family car and nearly, well, let’s not talk about that one.
Right now I need Tobias Vaudeville more than ever. I am hanging upside-down in a well. I can hear squeaking rats massing down below. I am hiding from some kids who have been burning down neighborhoods where there are supposed to be atheists. They hate atheists. I jumped in the well without knowing how deep it is or what is at the bottom, at the time it was the better option. Now that the sun has come up I can see a little bit better down here. When I look upwards, past my feet, I can see the sky. When I jumped down here it was night and those kids were just crazy, burning houses and pulling people out of cars to murder them.
My backpack is stuck on something, my feet are pointed to the round light above me, below me its dark and I can hear squeaking and motion, and water below me. What deals might I make to get myself facing the right direction, or better yet, to be delivered from this disadvantage that I find myself in? Presumably those kids up there have the answer. None of them saw me jump in here, which could be to my advantage.
On the other hand, if they did see me I might be able to convince them of my belief in their God. Of course, I would not have jumped if I shared that belief in the first place. Its just that at the time they were not in a temperament for discussion and reasonable discussion, they were killing atheists and I was available. As for my atheism, I have not come to any major conclusions yet, so its possible that they could be making a big mistake by killing me.
It appears that I am going to have to solve my own problems.
What would Telly do? A face would appear peering from the circle of light above, down into my darkness. A rope would be lowered, and a rescue would be made. Or the backpack would slip and I would become a warm but brief meal for the creatures below.
That was ten years ago. The biggest change was the borders put up within what was the United States. Now there is Voree and The Outlands; or from this perspective, the Forbidden Lands and the United States. The curious thing is that all the news is about the sports tournaments. There is a war, and all the news is about Cleveland vs Toronto followed by Oakland against Boston. Lots of interviews with the coaches, and the thunder of artillery that nobody acknowledges.
Parts of the city are dangerous, parts are forgotten and ignored. Most people have left, there are various displaced person’s camps in the smaller towns, usually in a school gymnasium. Family groups are bivouacked there, often for months before they are moved to other locations, new multiplexes. The men are conscripted and the women raise the children. The wounded men leave the hospitals and some find work, but most are cared for by the women as a part time job. Its unpaid labor, but they get fed and they get a place to sleep.
My travels take me further, there is danger everywhere, but going to new places seems to bring me comfort. I walk at night because the roads are more dangerous during the day. I keep a look out for whatever is approaching and whatever is following me. Frequently I abandon the road and take cover in the silent brush, allowing for the unknown to resolve its own difficulties, without my participation. There are highwaymen who frequent the open stretches, seeking to grab whatever they can from whomever they come upon.
Every moment holds promise for unexpected productivity, finding the opportunity is the dance.
I am grateful to Maggie LaNoue for providing this website.
I am grateful for the Meloney hospitality that I received during a time of crisis this past spring.
I am grateful to my health insurance for the excellent care they give me.
I am grateful to be here in this residence and to have an automobile.
I am grateful for the support of my friends.
I am grateful for the part time job at the radio station KXXO Mixx 96 FM.
I am grateful to live in a community where I can grow and learn new things.
I am grateful for my own mysterious creative talents and abilities.
I am grateful for history and the lessons available to us by remembering the truth.
I am grateful for all mercy shown to our homeless sisters and brothers, they will teach us how to live without our ordinary comforts.
I am grateful for the off button so that I can turn off the bad news that seems to be increasing constantly.
I am grateful for the ability to create better circumstances every day.
I am grateful for electricity, we must remember that without it we all will have to learn again how to survive the same perils our ancestors did.
I am grateful to my parents for all they left me with and the upbringing to always see the best in the future ahead.
I am grateful that you are reading this now.
Thank you. I wish you peace and prosperity ahead.
Next I hope to find a great job, even better than the past ones, and to be open for romance. I will learn to help others more. I will lift others up in any way I can.
To be an artist usually means that you work all the time and especially when you are dreaming, but you rarely get paid for it.
It all started when we were having trouble getting young Bucky to brush his teeth. He does like candy, and bubble gum is a favorite. So when the Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste came out we bought some and it sat around for weeks before we could get Bucky to even try it. He did eventually, and guess what — he liked it!
Did he ever. Soon it was no problem getting him to brush his teeth, and he began to use larger and larger amounts squeezed out onto his toothbrush. We had to watch him and restrain him from piling on way too much. In no time we went through that first tube. So we bought another. We began to suspect that he was brushing his teeth quite a bit after school. We were buying a new huge family-sized two pound tube of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste every time we went shopping. Soon it was a whole gigantic tube each week. Then it was two tubes. We found a place that sells it by the case. He was just wild about the stuff and was brushing his teeth five and six times a day, sometimes he would have an extra snack so he would have to brush his teeth again.
Normally we give him an allowance; if he saves it up he can buy a new video game, or a treat like candy, or whatever he wants to buy. He has an asthma problem, so if he saves up for three weeks he can renew his prescription for an inhaler. His doctor gave us a prescription for an extra strong inhaler so he can breathe at night and when running around playing with his friends. But it’s his money and he has to decide what he does with it, we are very strict. He must learn about managing his own resources.
We decided to try to confront him about his strange alarming enthusiasm for the Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste, and sure enough he yelled. After school he would break all the windows in the house and car, as well as all the mirrors in the bathrooms, loudly complaining that he just wanted to brush his teeth so he would not have any more cavities. How could we argue with that logic? Dental health is very important of course.
Anyway, we began to suspect something was going terribly wrong when we found piles of dried up empty squeezed out tubes of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste under his bed. He denied everything and began to keep his door locked all the time. I hear its normal for kids to act that way, so we know he is just going through a phase.
We got a call from the Seven Eleven next to the school, he was not buying candy with his allowance, he was buying more and more tubes of the Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste. At this point we were hardly shocked. Right about then a newspaper article came out about a clerk who used to work there but who disappeared one day and was never seen again. Little Bucky just turns red and goes out into the yard whenever we try to talk about it with him. The police were not helpful at all, but they soon stopped coming around so often. They still park out in front most evenings.
Anyway, we just did not know what else to do, and when we tried to talk to him about it he would fly into a rage and demand that we stop bothering him. All he said was that he wanted good teeth and a nice Yummy-bright smile. We would peek at him brushing his teeth and find him sucking it right out of the tube. He would go over to his friend’s houses and have their moms buy tubes of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste, and then secretly suck down whole tubes at a time. We were getting more calls from his friend’s parents. They were alarmed and they wanted us to do something about it, or at least pay them for all the tubes of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste that he gobbled down. Soon they would not allow him to come over to visit any more.
We tried stopping his purchases at the source; we talked to all of the new staff at the Seven Eleven over by his school and told them not to sell him any more tubes of the stuff. At first they were not convinced, but soon they too became concerned about his special appetite. Next he was just stealing boxes of the stuff, walking out with several tubes at a time and taking them to a wooded area where the bigger kids go to smoke after school. After we put our foot down over that he was soon just sucking down whole tubes right there in the store. He really loves the stuff, to this day. Its toothpaste, so what could be the harm in it?
After lots of struggling and much acrimony over the kitchen table day after day, we decided to talk to a professional. We talked to several child therapists and psychologists and they all gave us different explanations of what was going on. We finally found one who told us what we wanted to hear. It was not easy to find this angel. Persistence is rewarded.
Well, to make a long story short, we decided that it was not doing our family any good to be fighting about it all the time. My blood pressure was getting dangerously high and every weekend was ruined by all of the trouble over Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste. All that broken glass was getting expensive but we found a place to buy glass in bulk and I learned to replace it myself. For the bathroom we bought some unbreakable steel mirrors so that problem was easily solved. My wife was constantly sobbing and would lock herself in the bathroom for days at a time. She was on her way to a Nyquil drinking problem and God only knows what else she was doing in there. Something had to be done before little Bucky had one or maybe two dead parents. The neighbors kept calling various social services organizations in the area and we were in and out of court constantly during this time.
For his next birthday we decided to try another approach. His favorite cake is called “confetti”, which is an angel food cake with colorful candy sprinkles all through it. We decided to frost the cake with his favorite flavored sweet goo, Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste, of course. It takes more than one large sized tube for a two layer cake, with extra thick coverage in the middle and on top. Because you can squeeze it directly onto the cake in interesting and decorative patterns, and that makes clean-up so much easier. Have you ever tried to wash a knife with dried Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste on it? Soaking or chipping with a chisel does not help. It takes special solvents that we have to order directly from the toothpaste company, but it’s just easier to throw everything away and buy new cutlery.
The glitter sprinkles really add a nice touch and I bought a special light which really sets off the whole presentation. We are experimenting with different kinds of glitter.
Now we just have large crates of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste delivered directly to our door in bulk each week, and there is peace in our house once again. It’s a family favorite and we always have a cake or two in the pantry, as well as all the ingredients to make more. His teeth have not actually shown much improvement though. In fact, he has so many cavities that we had to shop around to find a willing dentist who offered us a special deal on a full set of juvenile crowns. When his adult teeth do come in they will be immediately replaced with some kind of new special superior designer artificial teeth that the dentist has been telling us about, paid for by the Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste Customer Service Representatives and the American Orthodontic Products Advisory Board, but that is our little secret and we are not supposed to be talking to anyone about all that. Bucky just got a call today about being in some advertisements for their product; it’s quite a lot of money, more than enough for his special new teeth. They want to send a photographer and put his adorable face on the new label design.