My father in his prime, professor of history and whistling cowboy.
This is the result of reading out loud the first of the Hardy Boy adventure books, “The Mystery of the Tower Treasure” directly into the Dragon Transcription software program, which added its own unique interpretation. For the most part I left it alone, but there are some adjustments and enhancements added to bring out my intended story, which is a new story that takes place when the surviving Hardy Detectives are at the end of their lives.
My brother and I, on motorcycles we were. Dad gave us motorcycles. We were so young. And we were just almost men. We could not wait. We were youthful sleuths, even way back then. We were invincible. We were Frank and Joe Hardy. Joe and Frank Hardy. The Hardy brothers. The sons of the most famous private detective in the world, in the whole known universe, Fenton Hardy.
Where is Fenton now?
Hallways and shiny floors and quiet music and wheelchairs. Calm voices announcing the time or making statements. Everyone is waiting and it smells chemically clean.
We were nearly run off of the road. That driver kept on going, something was wrong. This is a real and true clue. We have our first clue!
The night nurse moves me from the dining room to the social room where the giant television is. I build my mental wall against the giant television while maintaining my face mask of smiling participation in the community here. I am grateful to be alive! I am my own world no matter what, so? There is Chet now and he is awake. “Hello, old chum!” He is still mad at me about something that was and still is none of his business between me and his sister, Iola. What a doll she was. I would and perhaps I will, again and again if I could. Iola and Joe. Forever. Iola.
My brother had blond hair and rode a motorcycle as well as I, even though he is two years younger than I. He pulled his motorcycle over to the road and jumped to safety. “That car almost ran us off the road!”
“Wow!” said my brother. “Let’s get away from here before that crazy nut comes back. That’s a dead-end road, you know.”
I hear a lot as I lie here helpless and waiting, thinking and thinking; though to you all, I forgive you as I am struggling to remember toward the outer, come to think of it. I guess, anyhow it was a delivery truck if I remember right. He strove to conceal his impatience. He drove to reveal his best work yet.
Chet had a Sweet Baby of his own, a bright jolly speedster, a jalopy, a prized hot-rot that he named Queen. Bright yellow. Impossible to forget or ignore. It was bright bright yellow. You would know when Queen was nearby, sight and sound unique. Dig that crazy horn, boys! Squeal the tires, man! Oh yaz!
Now I am looking up at the ceiling. To my left a bank of lights and a beep which follows my heartbeat. I have been here for eternity. I am there now as you read this. I am waiting. I could write BEEP and again and again several hundred times per page for a thousand pages, who would read that?
Well, that would be me, right now. I am reading these pages slowly, one at a time. Me alone, reading thousands of pages that say BEEP and again and again. Time is full of secrets.
Flowers? Thank you!
I’m really going to smoke a love like ours, it always reminded me of how one wanted to work on, to go on forever without thought contrary, so I’m the very definition that always interrupted him in his work, my father the famous detective, Fenton Hardy. Fenton? Are you there, dad? Thanks Dad. Later, Dad.
The cyclist now waiting with your friends, a slight pretty recognized citizen. Shop with her class and the poor guy may often be a county boy like myself, the motorcycle is better than any girl he knew. The boys brought their motorcycles to stop the century on a talent. I am sorry, what am I saying? The Tower Treasure. Our first case, our first taste, we were so ready for it. Two boys, eager on fine new motorcycles, free and growing, becoming men in a secure world.
Under what I’m securing lies a slightly bad package. She asked a friend, asked you as the edge of your last friend, who had gone off to avoid having any of that tedious smile. I think we heard this, having been referred, just showing up to you, about to takeoff. Her smile faded yellow and that she explained that she thought Martin was some kind of stumbling block but he will not fall. No, Martin stays but do not tell him anything. He is happy enough already.
Something out of your will. Dear Mrs. Willett on the road, and outside a tricky lucky Mrs. was killed in counting illegitimate hell out of her car and only so fast. A car wreck again. Speedsters abandon.
Darkness. Reflection. More waiting. Is there heartbeat? Am I breathing? I do not know. Waiting.
Bayport joins us as my brother is making his networking trail connection kit, but he is doing it all wrong. I just remembered that there are professional investigators working. I had the car against the rogue car, and that car had more gas in it than a no talent pool hall on bean night. I love these words I do not care if they only made mere comfortable dead sense to someone besides you. You know. You know me.
Then I can take my clean break with the least worst front as it can be described as men.
“All I saw,” she said “was one of the men had red hair!” Frank fairly shouted.
So anything, he could be the same man we saw, one of his own car to legs head miracles do happen anyone or much lost and helpless on my car can add French legislators a Navy Iraq are getting along so he needs to be let to deliver a yes.
Which would make it even more desperate to get away. Whenever I want, or about, for a phone. A united front promised the boys who waved goodbye to challenge her in the town, and they were at once eager to meet the chief editor of time and of the police force.
He was a tall man, well-known defendant, and his two sons that she often turns upon to give up.
So practically, particularly difficult cases with the boys when it is office they found the police chief talking about a reset and 11 list by Harriet.
The old ticket seller at the seafaring boat office, but I was policing the entire drive. The third Oscar is not a shortstop. He was invariably seen wearing a checkered suit, every day a checkered suit. Some of what he says is because of the self-proclaimed private detective, who was working hard every place they put police force. “I go” whispered in the eye care, and it was frankly brighter… then I perched in high school behind the ticket window with a remote office deity, I forget for how many years. It was a job. Selling tickets to people who leave Bayport on any ferry.
I just got more interesting, the thing I have decided, well, what I have missed, how expensive a bomber from back then and how it is in the cheat code with everyone. Do you know what I mean by cheat code? I can report that. I just spoke up, my high as 1Y, I was one of these, and these were all too too crazy. Danger crazy. No laugh. No and no and know.
“I don’t know where it is called now,” a hot one explained. Oscar Smart will immediately pull a solar notebook from my clean sound check to collect rent on his desk where you want to cling a little less isolating check explained.
Then the chief related Harry’s story: a man drove up to the ferry boat office and tried all the disparity of the passenger, then he came in, right into the office and developmentally as the officer calls for the chief. “Give me the money I don’t want no trouble.” This is a gun talking.
A brief account of the requisite a.m. logbook in the morning for all sides in another right now.
She pressed the button click for related orders, “Exactly lots!” Joe commented to us in the cruiser later.
The man who stole our own kind will enable artists to pack a person. Did you the color of the man’s air raid in some off interrupted was kind of a day I am. I yielded to the Frank reply. “What color was his hair?”
Right to decide who I’m sure we’ll are greater like and 88 is cycles and four, a car that we are shy to go around. We took pics of the boys who brought the motorcycles to a screeching halt and leaped off. All of Joe cried out as they started up the steep bank. There safe, they made the reckless driver, who suddenly pulled his car hard to the right side road on two wheels and the boys expected the Carter turnover and held the dusty ground. Says Joe “Lets get away from here before that crazy guy comes back to dead end road, you know.” The boys scrambled back to the motorcycles, gunned down a bit to get past the intersecting road in early time.
This will go in silence for a while, gazing at the scene I had on their rights and an indictment of tumbled rocks and boulders. To me to the water below, the opposite side was a jagged cliff. The little travel road was whining and just wide enough for two cars to let it to fall off the edge of the road remark. That’s right to agree we can be sure, we are sure to be smashed to bits before we ever got to the bottom, and a smile, “Watch your step, Frank.” Dead tapers won’t get delivered. Frank reached into his jacket pocket to be sure, several important legal papers, which he was to deliver for Mr. Hardy were still there, released to find him. He chuckled soon after now, this to create it on his latest case. Yes to confirm us hardy sons. Why not show her plot line with a bright grin, this is the son of the most famous private detective in the country and aren’t we right to then becoming serious here.
I was reinstalling Mr. Harold go, said Frank and Joe, students at a more high, for combining business with you this Saturday morning. By dealing with the airing of the other. Even though one below is dark and the other fair. There was a marked resemblance between the two brothers, 18-year-old Frank was tall and dark Joel was younger, a blonde with blue eyes. They were the only children tension and Laura Hardy with Emily Linden Bay Port. A small but providing city of 50,000 inhabitants located and armed daily. 3 miles inland from the way, which she motorcycles along the narrow road skirted that they lead to 1002 brothers destination. Only to the next term, neatly started up, a lung steep slope, so that the view near the road was merely a ribbon and badly in need of air. Once we get to the place on the hill, oh then there will be so rough.
Frank remarked, HMX, over the uneven surface. Better road from there into one to go, with my logo. Just then, above the sharp part of their own motors to voice, they heard the roar of a car approaching from the rear, and denigrates me. They took a moment to glance back. Looks like the same guy we saw before. Joe burst out at night that once the hardly stopped them cold, as close to the edge as they did dare. Frank and Joe hopped off and stood poised to leap out of danger again if necessary, the car hurtling towards them like a shot. Just when it seemed as if it could not miss a the driver swung the wheel about viciously and this and then spent acts, sped along and away from trouble.
“When that was?” a close friend asked. The car had been traveling at such a high speed, but the boys had been unable to get the license number or a glimpse of the drivers features, but they noted that he was this and had a shock of red hair. “If I ever meet him again…” Joe muttered, Frank relaxed. “He must be practicing for some kind of race,” he remarked as the dark blue sedan disappeared from sight around the curve and the boys resumed their journey. By the time they rounded the curve, the agency will open all in the valley along the bay beneath them. There was no trace of the rash motorist who is probably halfway across the state by this time to remark, unless he’s in jail over a classified ad.
The boys reached along with logo and Frank delivered the legal papers to a lawyer, while Joe guarded the motorcycles. When his brother returned. Joe suggested something about taking the other road back to Bayport. “I don’t pray if going over that particular of a stretch to search name. “We can stop off at Czechs.” Check Morton, who was a school chum of the Hardy boys lived on a farm located about a mile of a port. The pride of chess life was a bright yellow jalopy of which he had been clean. He worked on it daily to soup up the engine. Frank and Joe retraced their trip for a few miles then turn on the country road which led to the main highway on which the Morten Farm was situated. As they near Chat’s home Frank suddenly brought his motorcycle to a stop. Into a clump of bushes in a deep ditch at the side of the road gel that crazy driver or someone else had a crack up, among the tall bushes, there almost wasn’t an overturned blue sedan. The car was a total wreck and lay wheels up for a mass of tangled junk. “We better see if anyone’s underneath” Joe cried out. The boys made their way down.
Their hearts pounding, what would they find?
A close look into the sedan and into the immediate vicinity proved that there was no victim around. This happened some time ago, said Joe. Frank stepped forward and lead his hand on the explosives in Joe. “It’s still warm,” he said the accident occurred a short while ago, now, I’m sure this is a redhaired driver’s car. “But what I am?” Joe asked. “Is he alive, did someone rescue him away?” and Franks wrote.
“One thing I can tell you, somebody else took away the license plates to avoid identification.” The brothers were completely puzzled by the whole affair since the assistance was not needed on the spot. They climbed out of the Colbert and back to the motorcycles.
Before long they were inside the Morten’s home, a rambling old farmhouse with an apple orchard at the rear. When they drove up the lane they sucked yet at the barnyard gate. “I saw!” Joe called. Check hurried down the lane to meet them. The boy who loved to eat was rarely without an apple or a packet of cookies near his round freckled face. Usually he wore a smile, but today the party sensed something was wrong as they brought their motorcycles to a stop to notice that their charming chums cheery expression was missing.
“What’s the matter?” Frank asked on the travel Channel reply blog. Just in time to help me jimmy without driving the Queen. Franken Chet shot a look at each other blankly, your car. “Well, we haven’t seen it” said Joe. “What’s happened” “Yes, I just came out to the garage to get the Queen and she was gone…” and should mournfully… “Wasn’t the car locked?” “That’s the strange part of it, she was locked.”.
Although the garage door was open. “I can see how anyone got away with it, a professional job.” Frank commented, “Thieves these days always carry scores of keys with them. Check, have you any idea when this happened?” “Not more than 15 minutes ago, because that’s when I came home with the car.” “We’re wasting, I am!” Joe cried out a case that he got a know which way he went to protest.
We didn’t meet in, so he must have gone in the other direction.” Climb on behind the jet Joe urged the Queen can go as fast as any motorcycle, so we will capture in no time excitedly as he swung himself onto Joe’s motorcycle into a stall by this time. In a few minutes, the boys were tearing down the road in pursuit of the automobile.
Now its morning and we are being served breakfast. The light is beautiful, we are all God-like here in the cafeteria. Do they see it too? Not a good question to ask. Close my eyes and enjoy the God-like moment of morning and food. They put it directly in my mouth sometimes. Sometimes I do it myself. Its all that other stuff that bothers me, the other end of the eating equation. I make myself clear. I must make myself clear. I will make myself clear. I am about to make myself clear. I am not clear now.
In a few moments the boys were tearing down the road in pursuit of the automobile thief!
There has been a terrible motorcycle accident. Why wont they tell me things? Who is it? Its my brother I know it is, I just know it is. It is. The doctors are all running around and our nurse takes a big sigh and she tells us about some kind of pharmaceutical, she goes on and on about this drug, and we should ask our doctor to prescribe it to us, we could feel a whole lot better and she recites all these horrible side effects. Who died? Why wont they tell me?
Its the television. Its just the television. Get over it. Its nobody you know.
Go check it to you as well be yellow buoys her café will be no typical. It would be difficult to pick up the trail of the means we will know around they portray from where we should be someone as a seemed strange to me.
So does that if you take a car like that out of these usually take heart of a standard making color to think herself for some reason, is making a fast getaway in helping ships pulling into a truck or several men were holing cabbage plants itself if we classic recovered and brought his motorcycle. He scrambled over the fence and jumped across the rows of small plants until he reached the first farmhand GCI yellow jalopy fueled by fear within the past hour Frank asked him a lengthy old Farmer leaned out of his hole and put a hand of one year.
A shouted DGC fellow pass on here in a bright yellow car. Frank repeated in a louder tone of it is over, you will never move back over the pocket of his overalls and a hardy few who landed here wants to know if we saw a jalopy come by so slowly. The other three farmhands all rather elderly men did not answer at once. Instead they lay down their hose and passed a plug of tobacco to the pastor Frank Christie. Sure you check the car was still trying to find the thief that stole said one of the men, a hot rod, a yes.
Right yellow when Frank, another of the workers removed his hand up. Seems to me until I did see a cargo by air, while ago I yellow car loan poor yellow come to think of it I guess. Anyhow it was a delivery truck or train strode into the presentation you did. Any of you was a brand-new car real shiny as the fourth member of the group that was an older car, but it was any bright yellow Frank explained.
“My nephew had one things for marked. Never thought they would save myself. I don’t agree with you.” Still another man spoke up on toys like you might as well have one they can work on themselves. Here all the best man interrupted her voice work on the farm truck. That way, they will get into mischief he gave a short laugh well so I guess we been much help to you install your hot rod.
“Thanks.” Frank joined the other boys, know let’s go to the tree was a girl walking along the road had been a cyclist true near Frank’s face life. She had recognized that the shame to see heading for paperwork joyous. “Yes, at the speed he was making networking travel you’ll never catch them shut and members of investigators working against current market sentiment for no telling what I can make it likely to go to police headquarters” for a suggested Kelly really describe this man.
“All I saw the answer was a blur, but the man did have red hair,” “Red haired!” Frank fairly shouted.
“Joe did you think he could be the same man wakes up. The one who wrecked his own car show & miracles do happen if he wasn’t hurt very much” he must have watched house and helped himself to my cart shed. Frank’s essay may be the wrecked car didn’t belong to that fellow in mean he’d stolen it to show there up to yes, which would make them even more desperate to get away whenever a new voice talking about Kelly. A Leach and I can tell you, Frank Thomas to — now the boys waved goodbye to Kelly and her against her condolence to Chief Ezra Colin.
One of the report released force. He was a tall, husky man well known to threaten hardiness to sentence, she could often turn to the private sector for help in solving particularly difficult cases. When the boys went to the state and found the police chief talking with three exciting men. One of these was like Harry Field, ticket seller at the City River Boat Office. In other words, while the third was Oscar Smart, a short stout man.
He was invariably seen wearing a checkered suit and a soft felt hat. He called himself a private detective and was working hard to earn a place on the Bayport police smut display. Its up to Polly and Joe, whispered the chaplain at the boys. We waited for the Chiefs between Harry was very frightened timid man who had perched on a high school, attended by a man who had perched on a high stool behind the ticket window at the ferry boat office day in and day out for a good many years. I was just out in the morning to see you say, in a high-pitched excited voice.
When it comes this film income since phone. Cicero over from my notes some minute interactive chief, turning to the newcomers. “Can I do for you?” Think report shuts up my hot Rod Stone boy is it so screechy hard drives. Why does well is crazy hot rod cylinder of my Kerry fried out a yellow hot exclaimed Oscar Smart can be immediately pulled the pencil and notebook from his pocket might clean children check
Cheektowaga wrapped on his desk for quiet minutes with the Queen of explaining chief related errors in story form men drove up to the ferry boat office and try to get hold of Mr. Passenger came to office in the following way as the officer was printed Cheektowaga brief account of the reckless abandon is important for them. Since the necessarily know, the chief press the buzzer and quickly relieved his orders. “It certainly looks” Joe commented “that if the man who stole checks are the fellow who tried to hold up the ferry boat office by the same person.”
“Did you notice the color of the maintainer for investment?” Harry smoking around was that it may have a great deal of the Francophone was colorless hair Mr. Harry Doctor on the short sure wasn’t red and Joe Saint Chi, except for when she got an invoice and some information about this when we were told until the guy who stole checks aren’t red haired. “Often are some famous turns off it over to someone else, Chief,” concluded at this moment is short for this little man was ushered into the room.
He was a passenger who would come into the church office at the time of the attempted hold chief colleges from the newcomer introduced himself as Henry J. Brown of New York. Because of entering the office and seeing them run away from the window with a revolver in his colorless hair from this conservative vibe is refocused on the same in many red haired goodness, I noticed it after he jumped in the car Christmas looked bewildered, he said he had red hair. That detective turned Mr. Harry NEC had dark hair something from somewhere, shook his head in puzzlement.
The others were puzzled to Frank S. Mr. Brown told once more, just when he noticed the red hair is so enough time for you to reply. Frank and Joe exchanged glances as a possible red hair was away in a safe put down just before Mr. Brown was abolished still into the one interference from snuff and tracking down this flu. Harry Dean Brown began to argue over the color of the fee scare.
Finally chief of a direct once more for order, sent out a line to put this whole the for both the scope and reach of Scott Davis was elected again in touch by the failure to catch the thief partied with Leslie says workers with Chet Morton, a return to pursue the case talk was dancing with Chet Frank Smith Iverson leads. I sure hope Sophos friend applies to client motorcycles seem thoughtless running through Frank and Joe’s minds may be dismissed. She returned to be different this time around, this one new chance we have been given.
Is this our first case? Can it be? We are so grateful.
From is that we will be rated on a motorcycle frame said that the Bush Road and hearty garage.
“I’m not even scared to write alongside anymore.”
Year.tier fray pretending to take you seriously got me writing that did not like you.
“Well,” Joe countered, should submit that we were both pretty good.
This year was, well, a bed of lettuce.
Mrs. hearty petite, pretty woman at the table on which he was stopping a large roasting chicken and smiled, her son kissed her affectionately and Joe asked dead upstairs yesteryear is in his study.
This study was part Fenton Hardy’s workshop adjoining it was a fine library, which contain not only books but piles of disguises. Records of criminal cases and translations of thousands of code this theme to study break and you agree to their father were reporting air and a couple of announced five starter applied that he gave his son searching clients I see your credibility more than just my air and breaking Joe had learned early in their boyhood that it was impossible to keep any secrets from their distinct father facing the disability was one reason why he had been such a successful detective on the New York City police force before setting up a private practice in the courts.
We ran in his reelect site by Frank said he told his father the whole story of checks missing jalopy the wrecked car, which they suspected installing and the attempted holdup at the ferryboat office tips County mystified as Cardona added.
Frank dreamed that it is a lesser police find a first. Mr. Hardy was silent for several seconds when he said. The level of vice, you know, I never give it some asked for chocolate will need a lot of help Joe answered to Hardy said to him the most interesting and the case was the fact that the suspect apparently used when more ways as a disguise. He may have bought at least one of them in the report suggests the voice make the rounds of all shops selling weeks and see which you can find out.
The boy’s livestock of their father’s large desk in Frank said, will have time to go do a little slipping before closing time to go to you boys made — for the door in both stopped short. They did not have the slightest idea where they were going sheepishly Joe asked dead in what store so weeks with a twinkle in his eyes Mr. Hardy arose from the desk walked into the library and opened a file labeled double users the moment later he pulled a folder marked ways manufacturers, distributors and retail shops of the world wide debt-they had all this information to begin his father merely smiled.
He sounds through the heavy sheaf of papers and pulled one out. They were a red well three of these places can be eliminated at once. They sell only women’s hairpieces. Now let’s see Frank get a paper and pencil first the Schwartz’s masquerading custom shop is its 70 Night Rimshot Ave. In that sense, that market implying, and one more Rubin brothers with a main street justice either a road. Schwartz’s closest Facebook, which I first Joe.
Hopefully the boys dashed out to the motorcycles and hurried downtown is the interest forces shot a short talk 🙂 man came toward them. Well, he has done here in the wire follows. He said, if you get a large old-fashioned clock on the wall officials apparently tonight because a big shipment team in today and I never have time except after business hours to unpack and list my merchandise buyer will take months if Frank were sons of Fenton Hardy, the detective. We’d like to know whether or not you recently sold a red wig to a man.
Mr. Schwartz shook his head I was sold a red wig and more absurd than rented when everybody seems while blonde or brown or black lately, but you understand by the usually salaries at all Iran up I just answered Frank, were destroyed. Find out about a man who uses a red wig is a disguise with that in mind of what a rented this year that he would know his name. Mr. Schwartz leaned across to children as many speak of is that like a character which is possible any come in to give wig from me if he does I’ll be glad to let you know, the voice thinks a shopkeeper or possibly even Mr. Schwartz called on it to Hardy’s hopes of the dealer had suddenly remembered something important.
This is not a seller with a grin and then asked the boys if they would like to help them open since cost cartons which arrived in to try the costumes. Those folks at the factory always criticizes Mark Wright, would you be able to stay a few minutes and help him be glad to pay them all with a lot of money just woke up to the truth.exe constants. Mr. Schwartz locked the front door of the shop and let the bullet is in the rear was so filled with costumes of all kinds appeared in a theatrical work close piles of cartons that Frank and Joe wondered how one man could ever find anything here is today’s shipment.
Mr. Schwartz said 26 cartons standing far from their interest to shop. Together he and the voice split open the boxes and one by one lifted out of kings ruled the Queen s at Little Bo Peep costume. Something Mr. Schwartz said it is on market size 38.
One of the boys mind trying it on Frank picked up costing ones at the back and stuck the skeleton outfit it with tremendous honoring said ludicrously ribs. Send ludicrously the ribs sagged, ludicrously gets a fat man models with the remarked holding the garment out to its full width at that moment there was a loud rap of the front door of the store. Mr. Schwartz made no move to answer it opposed a similar map suddenly Frank at idea that thief who used ways might be the late customer coming on purpose at this hour to avoid meeting other people without a word of the others he dashed through the doorway into the store and toward the front entrance.
Vaguely see somebody waiting to be admitted to the stranger gave one look at the late, out of shape skeleton and disappeared in a flash at the same moment Frank tripped and fell headlong. Mr. Schwartz and Joe carrying the crash rushed out to see what happened Frank hopelessly entangled in the skeleton to hire was helped to his feet when he told the others waited made as unsettled as to the front door they conceded he might have a point. But his sheer scale and outfit it will be back to zero laughing. The boy stayed for over half an hour helping Mr. Schwartz said goodbye and went home.
Monday will tackle is other two-week shops in Frank the following morning, the Hardy family attended church. After dinner Frank and Joe told parents are going to ride out to see Chip Morton. We’ve been invited to stay to supper for him, but we promise not to get home late.
The Hardy stick Callie Shaw, who also had been invited daily she perched on the seat behind Frank Vitale Cochise Franks wild cyclist. The young people were gathered at the door of the Morton farmhouse purchased younger sister of Iowa, dark-haired and pretty Joe thought she was quite the nicest girl in a poor high indeed her regularly.
As dusk came on the five young people gathered in the Morton’s kitchen to prepare supper check would love to each was in charge and build up various jobs to the others. When he finished Joe remarked in what he do big boy for studies burned on the official taster Hollowell from the others. Check your end. But while you insist all make a little side dish for all this about Welsh rabbit year elected the others for us to check set to work.
The farmhouse kitchen was large and contained a group of windows in one corner, used a large table, where young William people decide to eat they had just sat down with the telephone rang check got up and walked to the hall to answer it within a minute he returned to the kitchen, his eyes bulging what’s the matter.
I only ask quickly threatened to reply and threatened the others tried out how jealous of right and he could hardly speak they manage to make the others understand the man to set up a telephone you’ll never get your jalopy back then, if you don’t lay off trying to find out. And if you don’t lay off trying to find me or your car you’re going to get our little crowded.
Joe, this is a serious Callie and Ella had clutched their throats and were staring wild eyed at chat.
Frank about to speak at the glance at the window towards barring French cities that his eyes were playing tricks on them know they were not figured for sneaking from iron and down the lean toward the highway fallacy try suddenly.
Philip Church were chapter, were…
The day room is quiet, I rest my phony feet upon the table, and I have my back pressed back and this helps the pain today. This does not work every day but it is working now and I am enjoying it.
And Chad Morton’s kitchen was a pleasant site, thinking it was one of the fields where the walking man was seen leaving in the shade. A sneaking man. A walking clue who must be pursued.
The three pursuers scattered at three directions to search. Just straight it impresses you to listen to receive the good hearing the silly three, but it was worth it is specifically kept up with demand to question why he had been there these think he was a thief to last checked it which we still put up what let’s do I believe you change something that I couldn’t see what was Frank Neil about that close to the night the boys walked in, check searchers, gays are all said, we are extension in the little they dance. “A wig” exclaimed that she, Frank agreed, them something him you get. “What you said.” said S. Got a big examined carefully for clue will identify having mark on it. ADA burst out in will usually chat, “You mean he’s the one who threatened eight?” Yes.
If you know how you can call your own of November? From an extent that eight chat with awaiting his head in to come of the way here to use this for this, is that this man had not come specifically for that reason. Is one figure “catch it, it will answer” that or anyone else in this turned to interest such person was is and let us of what the building.
It wouldn’t be stack is that slowly anything be here feed the Snap his fingers. Sir’s eight disappeared from the turned and made a beeline for the there. Are her even sad? But was back in a second, eight came here to get this, are will be when you had is gone at chat. It is suggested that perhaps the man is not too far away. He might be some side rotating at he urged all the T cell that would be a useless, or a great. I got a cycles with check behind Joe is one of another covering the territory he thoroughly base of demo car.
“Even any sense that ever pulled of will chain” Frank remarked. The footprints to works of read this.
“Must have had similar to pick,” concluded with a sigh.
“She” Frank said. They walked back to the house that’s make to be a clue in this case.
Has entered the kitchen again were met with anxious inquiries from Kelly. A lot.
“Eight — he here?” Kelly asked in a shaky voice.
“Yeah, it’s what it’s going, it is for this field adjoining the first cat gets a will of its but select.”
In the girls race this alert will inform it for us, because the gray wig out of the chair in the hall.
Suddenly there was a loud wail from Chat. “My Welsh rabbit. It’s been standing so long it will be really and…”
Iowa began to giggle, “all you men,” she said these of those. Kelly and I would let all that good cheese to waste. We kept that Welsh rare, but it just right temperature, and isn’t spoiled at all the terror.
Chet looked relieved as he and the other took their places at the table, although there was a great deal of entering enemy all the conversation and then mean revolve around cats missing jalopy underneath who literally wore hair disguises to suit his fancy, Frank and Joe asked. As they might take along the gray way and examine it more thoroughly. It might be sometime archived to indicate either the maker or the owner checked readily agree.
But when the supper was all were Callie said to Frank with a teasing clean and her eyes widened to hot shots was examined that we now I’d like to watch your superduper methods. “Just for that I well” said Frank P. Link to the link.
You went to get the wig from the top hair. He went to get the way from the hall chair, and then laid it on the kitchen table from his pocket, he took a small magnifying glass and carefully examined every inch of the lining of the wig in a thing hair he said presently.
The hair was sorely examined in part at strand by strand to see up there in the identifying designations on the hairpiece. Frank could discover nothing. “I’m afraid this isn’t going to help us much” he said and discussed, “but I’ll show this to the different wig man in town.” As he finished speaking the telephone rang and I although went as he speaking the telephone rang and I will went to answer at chat turned white and looks in to us, was the caller of the man who had threatened him.
And what did he want? “Presently I will return to the kitchen,” a worried frown on her face at the man for you, at he wouldn’t give his name coupling visibly. Chet walked slowly to telephone, the others followed him. Was US! “I’m Chet Morton. Know I haven’t got my car back.” It was a long silence as the person on the other end of the line spoke rapidly, but I haven’t any money jet set.
Finally, I well okay, I’ll let you know, can hunt up, and wobbled to a nearby chair.
The others bombarded him with questions, the stout boy did the breath and said “I can get my jalopy back,” to the man was a lot of money for the information as to where it is by nature car back alley explain, but I haven’t got any money check groaned. “Who was the man?” Frank demanded. There was another long puzzle for Ted answered then looking at the waiting group before him. He announces a plea snuff. O snuff.
His was news gasped in establishment, this was the last thing you… They expected to hear the detective is selling information as to where Chet could find his missing jalopy. “Why, that keeps always,” so Joe cried out angrily.
Chet explained that Smart had said he was not in business for his health. He had to make a living and any information which he dug up as a deep tactic should be properly paid for.
Frank Schroeder, I suppose some of as a point there how much does he want for the information cat is being is $25. What the others tried out.
After a long consultation it was decided that the young people would pool their resources. Whenever somebody could collect, the $25 would be offered. To, oh snuff, to lead them to Chet’s car.
“But to make it very plain…” Frank admonished, that is not yours to jalopy smock lychee us to, you won’t pay one nickel to it, put in a call to his mother’s home. Unexpected, the detective grumbled at the offer of $10 and finally excepted. It is, they would pick up, the boys have now taken the spot.
About this time Mr. and Mrs. Morton returned home to an owl. As father was a good-looking jolly man with his sons name generally general build general build and coloring, a jolly man with his son’s same general build and coloring. It was in the real estate business in Bayport and ran the farm as a hobby.
Mrs. Morton was an older edition of her daughter, I allowed, and just as witty and lighthearted, but when she learned what had transpired and her son had been threatened. He was worried. “You boys must be very careful,” this is more advised from what I heard about some of his redhead, Faith could easily put one over on them so watch your step to promise that they would, good luck.
Kelly called out as Smart beat his horn inside the dorm and don’t be too late. I want to hear the news before I have to go. Frank, Joe and Chet, bonds off entirely, uncommunicative about where they were growing up, he seemed to enjoy the role he was playing.
“I knew I’d be the one to break this case,” he boasted. Oh we hated Smuff. We had no choice. He left us no choice.
Joe could not resist the temptation of asking. Some off is going to lead them to the thief as well as to the car. The detective flushed an embarrassment and admitted that he did not have full details yet on this part of the Ministry.
But it won’t be long before I captured, as though the issue of the boys, they manage to keep their faces straight and only hope that they were now gone that gone. Now, they manage to keep their faces straight and only hope that they were not now on a wild goose chase. Now.
20 minutes later, smoke pulled into the town of ducks were and drove straight to a used car lot copying media analyst. “Well here we are, get ready to fork over that money chat” nude hairless muff nodded to the attendant in charge to lead the blow is done along. “I’ll pass row after role of cars to her,” several jalopies were lined up against a rear fence, could he left? The detective finally caused before a bright red cover. Here, you are residents of grandly extending his right hand which kept my money trees.
The stout boy, as well as the Hardy state of the jalopy, there was no question that it was the same make and model as Chet’s.
“The thief thought he could disguise it by painting a red snuff” explained. “Is that your guests?” Frank asked. Quietly. O snuff round. “How else can you figure?” he asked, while another yellow paint another red Franklins they look, to be sure. It was evident that Smart did not like this procedure. So you doubt me aid he asked in an unpleasant tone.
“Anybody can get fooled,” Frank told him while chat “lets operate on this car,” the detective stood by silently as Frank pulled up — and began to scrape the red paint off part of the fender.
[to be continued?]
Two things appear certain: the earth is not as fresh as it was, and our grandfather’s remote sensing equipment has uncovered some new information about some locations that appear to be like earth. The silver seeds are the best hope we have for the survival of you and me, and our millions of friends. Billions, including people we don’t know. None of them have been born yet.
The first thing our grandfather’s did was to send up lots and lots of unmanned pods, ships that contained everything that a small group of colonists in an uncertain location would need to survive, including a variety of ways to create food, to clean our water and air and to secure appropriate shelter. This type of pod changed as new discoveries made things easier. The first bio-sustained systems were rather primitive.
The biggest problem is that the distance from old earth to the new Elysian fields is further than a human lifetime to traverse. They will not have chosen to make this journey. Everyone arriving would have no idea of what its like to live on a planet, they would only know life on a spaceship and now they have to leave that spaceship. And everyone leaving earth would leave expecting and intending to die on the journey and would have to release all hope of ever seeing “home” or “earth” again. Ever. This would be more dangerous to the human spirit than adapting to the necessities of sustaining life on a spaceship.
But its either that or the unthinkable. Run out. Run out and die.
Our grandfather’s people were a small group of explorers and inventors of new tools, and what they found had profound philosophical implications. They would become the folk heroes for generations of kids in the future. This all started off as one-in-a-million matching or corresponding interests in scientific hobbies. These few people communicated with each other and opened up whole new ways of solving problems. They have faith that their discoveries have much value to be realized. They set out to build a path to the promised land, at the very extremes of science. We can travel and we want a place to raise our kids, the land of safety for our children, no matter how far we have to go.
So what will arrive several generations out, when the silver seed of the spaceship comes to the distant shores, when they arrive at their intended destination? What kind of being will emerge from the journey? Born of gravity, and then living with no gravity for generations. Eating different food. When the spaceship lands, does it strut out of the tin can, or does it cautiously gather more information before emerging, or does it come out singing and dancing? It might think that it needs to come out shooting.
An awkward first impression.
What if we have no choice about any of this, surviving the loss of the earth, inter-generational voyages, and circumstances that require an aggressive response (coming out shooting)?
Try to do this or cease to exist. Is there a choice?
Grandfather made a choice. Now we are making the best of it. There is nothing we can do about it, here we are. We have no choice. Grandfather made a choice. We do make our lives better as we live, sometimes new inventions change everything.
As the project continues the data proving the existence of Elysium becomes increasingly conclusive. Which does not matter a hill of beans until the first pilgrim from earth emerges from the mothership, but that does not stop the sound and fury. Political opposition and resistance to this movement is considerable and the friction makes for much prized broadband juice. Inquiring minds need to know, there is a strong reason to get the wider population interested in learning about science. Everyone can participate, its not like there are only a few jobs in a factory. The new life of science will require much training. How quickly can you learn what you need to know?
We must stop training people to be apprentices and increase our supply of innovative managers.
Five independent researchers found that there is a very specific location that humans could thrive in. If we can get there we can reinvent our whole story and live in a more enlightened manner, with all we know now. Speaking for all humanity is a burden. We can escape the poisoned landscape here. We can give our children a fantastic gift. They will have a clean new world. It will be fresh and comforting. Farms and workshops.
So much hope, but the political machine has needs of its own. There is resistance to this new plan.
The Dark oppression of the Elysium Project: 3 years. The notion of dying and sending your grandchildren off the earth is ridiculed and made illegal and the prisons swell. The thought police give loyalty tests, only the pure may thrive on the homeland. There must be no more nonsense about leaving the earth. This becomes unpopular as more people you know are confined for subjective crimes. Change must come. Hope grows and new technologies are privately developed. New ways of detecting Elysium support are discussed but nothing really happens. Except the prison industry thrives.
Then there is a New white house, showing the first official support of the Elysium project. The tragedies of the past three years will be hard to overcome, but we yearn for new hope, there is growing popularity of the Elysium Mission. The people all support finding a new hope for our grandchildren. The surface conditions on earth become excessively harsh. Now the stories of the heros can be told, struggling during the dark years against the odds, surviving through history to become models for the new movement to find a better world for the kids of the future. This is what to teach them in their schools, out there in the future. A sense of history and moral purpose.
Suddenly, science teachers are heroes and hard to find. The market is ready to jump in. The new science reawakening begins!
Overnight there are small companies with a dream, that can fit into the emerging new civilization, focused on the survival of human life. Hard to argue with those guys. So it grew into a type of market place, developing new technology as its needed.
The first space station was a place of incredible freedom and enthusiasm, all kinds of small parts and huge systems for the marketplace of getting us on our way. Everyone is building a little ship in their garages. Garages get bigger.
All this is fine and dandy, but here is the real zinger that troubles this whole enterprise or cult or whatever you want to call it. Nobody alive here today is going to be walking on that new land.
Everyone who walks off of that space ship and feels the warmth of a sun and the smell of the trees in the breeze, you know the whole song.
So it will be our children and grand children who will find out if all these calculations and dangerous experiments, tragic transportation accidents, and the invention of new food that can be bred like calves right there on board the ship. Living creatures that are tasty and popular, as well as nutritious. Should they be cute too? Breed them in your back yard? They say you should not give a pet name to that which you intend to eat.
What are we going to find out there and along the way? Should we prepare for a hard battle or for a long negotiation process?
New sciences and discoveries and inventions. Some provide information to build upon, some are total wastes, some are profitable for a few businesses, while whole new industries based on training these new technology workers pop up overnight. The kids have a lot to learn, and a long way to go.
The first space ships were fantastic one of a kind constructions that would enable a crew of adventurers to get started right away. Eventually mass production of the best designs made it possible for every high school graduate to find their way into exciting new careers. Hope at last!
Getting to and from the space station is eventually a basic commuter nightmare, with traffic jams and patterns you can fit into. Go to work, go home. We are doing this for our kids, so they can find their way to a clean new world.
Nobody seems to ask about the expected situation when they arrive, are we walking into a new America, with a few troublesome indigenous inhabitants to consider. Or will there be resistance?
Or can we find a way to live among the ones who already live in Elysia? Must they go or will we be welcomed there?
The amateurs were followed by the large corporations, like GM for cars, common interests blended to make the whole thing work. Mavericks and drones, working towards the same promised life.
Should we be prepared to enslave them or to franchise with them? Will we be eating them or will we be staying for dinner? What tools should we bring? What about contingencies? What will it take to survive? We are obliged to make the world safe for our children, and that requires some effort.
Soon new methods emerge, instead of odd one-of-a-kind contraptions, resources are pooled, creating gigantic new industries and scales of production. With political and major industrial support soon there are new fleets of identical ships designed to hold hundreds of people, with an eye to increasing to over a thousand souls in a single vessel. There is prosperity in the face of social changes, from discovery to application, to resistance and oppression, and then a new era begins. That is the plan.
Military supply conglomerates begin supporting new businesses and the study of science becomes a very lucrative specialization, a new social trend and way of life. This is a classic Boom cycle, anything could happen, but lots of boats are being lifted together. This is a great time to be a science librarian.
The first prison ship launched. The program expands slowly as the public enjoys the benefits of a crime-free(r) society.
Now the government is involved in the space 2089: A ritual deportation is underway. There is a much publicized persecution of a tiny handful of individuals. Two or three prisoners among the rest of the earth. Political rivals are loaded up on the rockets and are never seen again. Prisons are soon abandoned forever, and the cities are clean and orderly. Luckily the planet is heavily overpopulated, so this can lead to lots of interest in elite support as well as the cause of space travel itself.
One day it was announced very publicly that this is the end of the space program supported by the government. The spigot has been turned off, but nothing seems to have happened, the launches continue without the government and the movement continues on, as it was before there was government support. The remaining earth-based humans are faced with a gigantic labor shortage, on an increasingly hostile Earth. The land is barren and too cold and too hot. There is no permanent drought but there is increasingly toxic water. The air is changing too. Industrial farming is now all about the highest grade mono crop that can be supplied that is nourishing, and taste matters too. Small personal gardening or micro farming is pretty much universal, everyone likes a good fresh salad. Everyone has a humble window-box or a series of things growing all around the house. Its much celebrated, like good cooking.
The Declaration of the Discovery of Doomsday, or rather, what is said to be the confirmation of the end. The Earth is starting to get very uncomfortable. Going outdoors is hazardous so the food tastes funny now. There is no more fresh water and the air is going bad.
Respiratory diseases are increasingly fatal. The common opinion is that to stay on Earth is fatal. Its too hot, its too cold, its too dry, its too wet, its already dead, earthquakes increase, new minerals are processed.
The actual demise of earth, meaning, when conditions no longer support life turns out to be 7933, which is a long time to be waiting around and miserable. Going outside is unthinkable most of the time, walking in some common areas that are indoors requires protection, and water from the old aquifer system is no longer safe. Food and mercantile needs are the best businesses.
There is another mystery. Let us consider the blessed planet itself, Elysium or the Elysia Belt of possible Class M destinations. What are they doing there now, before we start showing up? What if there are people there, or something living that we can understand? The very notion turns out to be a fascinating source of fiction and elaborate speculation.
What do we say to them? Hi! We come from far away and bring you greetings! Remember 1492.
Until the moment someone actually gets there, nobody really knows what is going to be there. Its sort of like death nobody has come back to say definitively, but one day our grandchildren are going to find out for sure. Its nothing like death, its as natural as finding air to breathe. Grandfather said “We seek a new World.”
Now grandfather is dead and I am stuck on this old spaceship. Its being guided by a robot captain and we sure do hope it knows what it is doing.
That is going to be a big moment. (Wont they be grateful! Wont they?) Walking off the ship on a new land. Live or die in a second. This moment is where opinions collide. Stepping off the boat.
Manifest Destiny is an American tradition. We own a place in that new Sun. All we need to do is grab it and hold on.
All this has nothing to do with the need to get there, and how life will be. This is all before getting there. Getting there is going to change everything. What will they find?
Consider the possibilities. Let us start with the most broad concepts. Will they survive the voyage?
Are the creatures there now going to eat us or are we going to eat them, or are we going to introduce them to the concept of insurance, or get them to join the Union? What can we sell them?
What will we need to keep them from killing us, if they are big and mean? These questions provide lots of speculation.
This will be our sleeping towards our New Reward. Or will it be The continuing adventures of the Donner party? The hearings, trials and larger spectacles will make for much commerce, regardless of what you believe about tomorrow.
Once the journey is underway everything must respond to whatever is found next.
One Day The first vessel intended to carry a human crew lands on Elysium. How can we best plan for this moment? What will these persons find and what will they need? Those two questions are the core of the mission.
Chances are most rockets will arrive empty or lifeless, but the numbers will increase, and some are very likely to survive. That was the plan all along. The survival of the unborn is more important to the mission than the will or the penalty of the ones who left earth on those huge vessels.
One Day The first of the prison parties land. Instead of executing convicts it became increasingly fashionable to just send them to Elysium and in some cases (by definition these are all undocumented) omitting the costly trials. Business increases quickly, with bust and boom cycles at each step.
The program goes from some zealots who abandon earth, to a large scale evacuation of excess population. Maybe they are sent away like England used to send prisoners to Australia, to populate the empty land.
At some point, when thousands of people are being sent into space each week, towards the promised land, the balance tips and we realize that we need to stop exporting our workers, the program slows, and a hundred years go by. After sending a thousand people at a time, in huge mass-produced vessels, headed towards the new promised land, the whole thing falls out of fashion, and the fate of humanity is thought to be better served by fixing up the old world, cleaning the pollution and bringing back the wilderness, the green trees and fresh water. Much progress is made, but there is so far to go. The earth has lots of poison to clean up. The true brave souls need to stop looking up at the stars and roll up their sleeves and get to work, making our home beautiful.
And the earth responds and things do start looking better. New birds and lush plant life, less harsh weather, more successful crops, after a long drought things appear to be getting back to normal, cleaned up and put right.
Suddenly a disaster dooms the earth itself, and the program quickly becomes the last hope as the earth crumbles and falls into the sun and solar wind, lost. The end of everything. Get on that ship and slam the door and hit the gas, there is no more firmament, and now the only humanity left is the one that is traveling to the promised land.
What is it like from the point of view up there at the New World? Minding your own business, tending to your own disasters and life’s work, and suddenly there are these unmanned pods filled with various wonderful things, food and things they have never seen before. New technologies.
First a few pods, then a few more, then it rains pods. Then the first pioneers land, the grandchildren of the first inventors of the journey.
Were they right about the new earth? Does it exist? What do we find there?
This is the singular most significant moment, the arrival of the originals. The moment they step off of the ship, they would be singing many psalms that probably would have been written on the long voyage, through the long dark nights of the journey to the promised land.
The matter of prior occupants. What is going to happen to the folks there now? Are they folks or are they environmental threats to be overcome? Do we make friends with them, or eat them, or do we anhilate them? Or do we plan to enslave them, as our ancestors used to do? Maybe we sell them insurance, or teach them about the wise old shepherd in the sky who watches over us all.
Either they blend in or they have to fight to survive, and fight carefully. To much time allows for resistance to grow, if we hit them quickly we can have the whole thing to ourselves. Or do we live among them and learn how they have come to thrive, they have solved all of the problems we would need to solve, maybe killing them first is not such a good plan. Will we have a choice?
Do they look like us or are we different?
What might happen to the people on the ship, might their appearance change or might they behave in a whole new way? Like wrestlers, with the biggest meanest one calling the shots for them.
Or maybe there are power struggles on the ship and the next one, and each one of the many ships on the way now.
The first New Ones arrive and are weak and need help, they would not appear to be a threat.
Someone to show mercy to, a helping hand, assistance to bring them from the wilderness into the world of Elysium.
After the first friendly helpless ones so grateful for charity, come the more angry ones, in larger quantities. They do not negotiate, they just take what they need.
Then the old world is forever lost and the new order will have begun.
Are we a force for good or are we brutal and ugly? To live we must be brutal and ugly sometimes.
To live and bring our children, this is enough have in common with our group of individuals.
What is a group?
As these ships begin to rain down, there will now be a flood of the descendants of these large human transportation units. These are aggressive people sent because of their crimes or because they were unlucky enough to represent any form of opposition to the political party in power.
Thousands of space ships launched with the capacity of over one thousand human souls each. The provisions supporting this population will be insufficient. Only a few will survive, but those few will be a powerful force. They will be clever enough to adapt to the changing circumstances. Most wont make it, but a few will. And they are going to kick some butt to earn some of the New Earth..
One day the arrivals of the last human Elysium pilgrims to leave earth.
They are all faced with the same questions. Many questions. One big question.
When we land, what if they are not happy to see us?
Its a long way from home.
Every moment holds promise for unexpected productivity, finding the opportunity is the dance.
I am grateful to Maggie LaNoue for providing this website.
I am grateful for the Meloney hospitality that I received during a time of crisis this past spring.
I am grateful to my health insurance for the excellent care they give me.
I am grateful to be here in this residence and to have an automobile.
I am grateful for the support of my friends.
I am grateful for the part time job at the radio station KXXO Mixx 96 FM.
I am grateful to live in a community where I can grow and learn new things.
I am grateful for my own mysterious creative talents and abilities.
I am grateful for history and the lessons available to us by remembering the truth.
I am grateful for all mercy shown to our homeless sisters and brothers, they will teach us how to live without our ordinary comforts.
I am grateful for the off button so that I can turn off the bad news that seems to be increasing constantly.
I am grateful for the ability to create better circumstances every day.
I am grateful for electricity, we must remember that without it we all will have to learn again how to survive the same perils our ancestors did.
I am grateful to my parents for all they left me with and the upbringing to always see the best in the future ahead.
I am grateful that you are reading this now.
Thank you. I wish you peace and prosperity ahead.
Next I hope to find a great job, even better than the past ones, and to be open for romance. I will learn to help others more. I will lift others up in any way I can.
To be an artist usually means that you work all the time and especially when you are dreaming, but you rarely get paid for it.
It all started when we were having trouble getting young Bucky to brush his teeth. He does like candy, and bubble gum is a favorite. So when the Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste came out we bought some and it sat around for weeks before we could get Bucky to even try it. He did eventually, and guess what — he liked it!
Did he ever. Soon it was no problem getting him to brush his teeth, and he began to use larger and larger amounts squeezed out onto his toothbrush. We had to watch him and restrain him from piling on way too much. In no time we went through that first tube. So we bought another. We began to suspect that he was brushing his teeth quite a bit after school. We were buying a new huge family-sized two pound tube of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste every time we went shopping. Soon it was a whole gigantic tube each week. Then it was two tubes. We found a place that sells it by the case. He was just wild about the stuff and was brushing his teeth five and six times a day, sometimes he would have an extra snack so he would have to brush his teeth again.
Normally we give him an allowance; if he saves it up he can buy a new video game, or a treat like candy, or whatever he wants to buy. He has an asthma problem, so if he saves up for three weeks he can renew his prescription for an inhaler. His doctor gave us a prescription for an extra strong inhaler so he can breathe at night and when running around playing with his friends. But it’s his money and he has to decide what he does with it, we are very strict. He must learn about managing his own resources.
We decided to try to confront him about his strange alarming enthusiasm for the Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste, and sure enough he yelled. After school he would break all the windows in the house and car, as well as all the mirrors in the bathrooms, loudly complaining that he just wanted to brush his teeth so he would not have any more cavities. How could we argue with that logic? Dental health is very important of course.
Anyway, we began to suspect something was going terribly wrong when we found piles of dried up empty squeezed out tubes of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste under his bed. He denied everything and began to keep his door locked all the time. I hear its normal for kids to act that way, so we know he is just going through a phase.
We got a call from the Seven Eleven next to the school, he was not buying candy with his allowance, he was buying more and more tubes of the Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste. At this point we were hardly shocked. Right about then a newspaper article came out about a clerk who used to work there but who disappeared one day and was never seen again. Little Bucky just turns red and goes out into the yard whenever we try to talk about it with him. The police were not helpful at all, but they soon stopped coming around so often. They still park out in front most evenings.
Anyway, we just did not know what else to do, and when we tried to talk to him about it he would fly into a rage and demand that we stop bothering him. All he said was that he wanted good teeth and a nice Yummy-bright smile. We would peek at him brushing his teeth and find him sucking it right out of the tube. He would go over to his friend’s houses and have their moms buy tubes of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste, and then secretly suck down whole tubes at a time. We were getting more calls from his friend’s parents. They were alarmed and they wanted us to do something about it, or at least pay them for all the tubes of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste that he gobbled down. Soon they would not allow him to come over to visit any more.
We tried stopping his purchases at the source; we talked to all of the new staff at the Seven Eleven over by his school and told them not to sell him any more tubes of the stuff. At first they were not convinced, but soon they too became concerned about his special appetite. Next he was just stealing boxes of the stuff, walking out with several tubes at a time and taking them to a wooded area where the bigger kids go to smoke after school. After we put our foot down over that he was soon just sucking down whole tubes right there in the store. He really loves the stuff, to this day. Its toothpaste, so what could be the harm in it?
After lots of struggling and much acrimony over the kitchen table day after day, we decided to talk to a professional. We talked to several child therapists and psychologists and they all gave us different explanations of what was going on. We finally found one who told us what we wanted to hear. It was not easy to find this angel. Persistence is rewarded.
Well, to make a long story short, we decided that it was not doing our family any good to be fighting about it all the time. My blood pressure was getting dangerously high and every weekend was ruined by all of the trouble over Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste. All that broken glass was getting expensive but we found a place to buy glass in bulk and I learned to replace it myself. For the bathroom we bought some unbreakable steel mirrors so that problem was easily solved. My wife was constantly sobbing and would lock herself in the bathroom for days at a time. She was on her way to a Nyquil drinking problem and God only knows what else she was doing in there. Something had to be done before little Bucky had one or maybe two dead parents. The neighbors kept calling various social services organizations in the area and we were in and out of court constantly during this time.
For his next birthday we decided to try another approach. His favorite cake is called “confetti”, which is an angel food cake with colorful candy sprinkles all through it. We decided to frost the cake with his favorite flavored sweet goo, Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste, of course. It takes more than one large sized tube for a two layer cake, with extra thick coverage in the middle and on top. Because you can squeeze it directly onto the cake in interesting and decorative patterns, and that makes clean-up so much easier. Have you ever tried to wash a knife with dried Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste on it? Soaking or chipping with a chisel does not help. It takes special solvents that we have to order directly from the toothpaste company, but it’s just easier to throw everything away and buy new cutlery.
The glitter sprinkles really add a nice touch and I bought a special light which really sets off the whole presentation. We are experimenting with different kinds of glitter.
Now we just have large crates of Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste delivered directly to our door in bulk each week, and there is peace in our house once again. It’s a family favorite and we always have a cake or two in the pantry, as well as all the ingredients to make more. His teeth have not actually shown much improvement though. In fact, he has so many cavities that we had to shop around to find a willing dentist who offered us a special deal on a full set of juvenile crowns. When his adult teeth do come in they will be immediately replaced with some kind of new special superior designer artificial teeth that the dentist has been telling us about, paid for by the Yummy Bubble Gum Flavored Toothpaste Customer Service Representatives and the American Orthodontic Products Advisory Board, but that is our little secret and we are not supposed to be talking to anyone about all that. Bucky just got a call today about being in some advertisements for their product; it’s quite a lot of money, more than enough for his special new teeth. They want to send a photographer and put his adorable face on the new label design.
These pictures were taken by me walking around Schuylkill County in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania during the Halloween season of 2009. These folks have a very special tradition of celebrating the season, each borough has its own parade and they coordinate with each other so during the week of Halloween the kids can go to a parade every night. That is a LOT of candy. Most of the decorations have been on display for generations. Some of the pictures were taken through glass and have strange superimpositions.