I had noticed that the transcription software was making lots of errors and inventing words, so I sensed an opportunity. What I did was to prepare a reading of the first of the Hardy Boys books, which I recorded and then inserted the results into the innocent transcription program.

What resulted took me eleven years to figure out what the heck I had. It seemed like art, in a James Joyce sort of way, once called modern steam of consciousness. It was in fact almost pure gibberish, but I had a notion to create a frame to start it off. What if Fenton (aka Dad) were to have died in a nursing home and now Frank or Joe were surviving in a similar situation, immersed in the past while waiting for the end, escaping from the horrors of their approaching mortality and doom by surrendering to their imagined memories and fragments of an illusory salvaged past.

Now the results of the experiment are presented here.

One of the more interesting by-products are the characters invented by the transcription process. The way transcription technology is supposed to work, one speaks gently to the creature, and it takes what you say and does its best to create a display of alphabetical interpretations from your intended message. You both proceed carefully, making corrections as you go, and both learn together, you find out how it works, and it becomes accustomed to processing what you say.

In my diabolical laboratory I sent it my flood of audio matter, spoken words, and forced the critter to just deal with it. Sometimes the results are almost interesting. They were certainly ample. Most of what I did, besides creating the framework of implied geriatric dementia which almost excuses this automated chaos, was to apply some punctuation marks. I also deleted stuff, to assist with creating the illusion of the final flow. Art is sometimes abundant and can be extracted out of what one chooses to keep from the results of what is delivered by these new digital tools that are so eager to please us.

Here is a list of characters found in Dixon Tower, see if you can recognize the original cast that was intended by the author of the Hardy Boys adventure series, Mr. Franklin W. Dixon:

Frank Hardy

Joe Hardy

Fenton Hardy

Iola Morton

Chet Morton

Martin

Mrs. Willett

Harriet

Oscar Smart

Check

Harry

Mr. Harold

Joel

Laura Hardy

Emily Linden

Czechs

Check Morton

Morten

Franken Chet

Old Farmer

Kelly

Thomas

Chief Ezra Colin

Harry Field

Oscar Smart

Polly

Mr. Passenger

Mr. Harry Doctor

Joe Saint Chi

Henry J. Brown of New York

Frank S.

Harry Dean Brown

Leslie

Frank Smith Iverson

Sophos

John

Cardona

Rubin brothers

Mark Wright

Mr. Schwartz

Chip Morton

Callie Shaw 

Hollowell

William

Ella

Chad Morton

Frank Neil

S.

Iowa

Callie

P.

Chat

Ted

Mr. Morton

Mrs. Morton

Smuff

Johnny Olivier

Snuff

Chat

Mr. Smart

Eustace

Guy 

Slough

Smith

Kelly

Schwartz’s shop owner

Reuben brothers

Stewart

Kasey

Frank Schroeder

Alan Hooper, nicknamed Biff

Tony Patel

Tony Pinto

Jerry

Mr. Martin

Mr. I Chose

Mr. Arty

M.

Casey

Alan Hooper

Philip

Anthony

Tony Punto

Phil

Mr. Morning Star

Mrs. Hardy Franken July Kennedy

Check

Chloe

Chet Clinton

Tony

Chief Colic

Chet

Maj. Applegate

Delia

Jules

Hardy Fenton

Henry Robinson

Mr. Lee

Alessi

Mr. Update

Robinson Italian

Mr. Robertson

O’Reilly

David

Minister Robinson

Appleby

Jacob

Mr. Robinson

Standard Slim

Gil

Paula

Mrs. Robinson

Jeff

Kerry

Hurd Applegate

Cheektowaga

Mr. Applegate

Perry Robinson

Joel

Slim

Frank Hill

Applegate

Joe Wagner

Reagan 

Frank T.

Jerome 

Frank Brown 

Angela

Chief Khaled 

Mr. Hart

Frank and Joe

Mr. Hardy

Mrs. Hardy